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Eleventh Hour Shine • The story of a rock album, loss, and resilience

by Steven J. Lawrence
The picture on the left was taken during the process of writing the lyrics to one of the songs from the album that would eventually come to be called “Eleventh Hour Shine.” On the right, “Pragnus Gray” behind a video camera looking at the framing of a wide shot set up by Jesse Travers Hubbell. Jesse went through the trouble of securing professional cameras and sound recording devices and helped to rig the lights to provide a silhouetted look for a dream rock concert sequence in which my character, Pragnus Gray, a rock star, was singing to an audience of thousands. Eventually, this sequence made its way into a short film called “Marcel’s Opus” which features two songs: “Marcel” and “Don’t Be Afraid.” Sadly, Jesse died six years after this event. This series of essays is partly dedicated to Jesse. He was a dear friend, and I continue to miss him.

Eleventh Hour Shine: The story of a rock album, loss, and resilience is a series of short essays about the process of creating the Pragnus Gray album Eleventh Hour Shine.

The series originally set out to explore the experience of making a record while trying to work responsibly as the chief steward of the process and eventually grew into a deeper inquiry into the personal resilience that was required of me during this process when some serious life challenges arose. The questions and ideas span several arenas: the practice of making music together, the work of personal growth, and the effort to build healthy community in classrooms, projects, and workplaces.

Another theme that runs through this series is the responsibility to let our light shine while also welcoming the shine of others.

I am aware that the famous poem called “Our Deepest Fear” written by Marianne Williamson, former Democratic Presidential candidate and writer of spiritual books has been quoted by thousands of writers and speakers over the years, but sometimes a small pearl of wisdom is worth repeating, so I am okay with repeating the following fragment of her wisdom:

“As we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”

Another vital thread that runs through the essays is a single conviction I’ve been writing about for years: my belief that excellence depends on human relationships grounded in mutual respect and empathy and the willingness to let others shine.

Whether in art, teaching, family, the workplace, community development or any other endeavor involving the sustainability of human relationships, I continue to believe that we have to develop the capacity to not feel dimmed by the light of others and the willingness to make room for them to shine. And we also have to develop the capacity to take up our space in this life and to be who we are—to shine without regard for how others might feel dimmed by that shine for reasons that have nothing to do with us.

This is an image of the character of Marcel who was featured in “Marcel’s Opus”. The character was played by Warren “Wuzzy” Schaller. Ironically, Wuzzy himself had the same intent as the character he played: to die alone in the desert. He died six years later in his home in the desert of Arizona. The lyrics featured in the image are from the first track of “Eleventh Hour Shine”. This track announces the major theme of the album, which is that if we truly want to tread the way, we need to take up space sometimes and celebrate our own blue skies without fear. To do so without narcissistic self-aggrandizement is to tap into the endless supply of grace that lies within us all.

In many arenas of my life I have seen too many people work to stamp out the light of others. I’ve seen teachers condemn students, bosses bully workers, roommates dominate spaces, artists sabotage artists, parents abuse children, leaders condemning the unwashed, ideologues dehumanizing undesirables, the young desecrate the old, and so much more.

My convictions around this theme was tested throughout the project, especially during the final stages of sound production, when an unexpected tragedy changed not only the course of the project but also my personal and professional life.

With that turning point in mind, the essays also explore the impact of trauma, the process of healing, and the importance of reconnecting with what I call the ‘ground experience’ during times of upheaval.

This is a highlight reel of the peak moments in the songs on the album “Eleventh Hour Shine”. This album was the result of a collaborative team of more than 20 artists and involved a crowdfunding campaign through Kickstarter, which brought the project to its completion.

I first drafted the beginning of this series in 2014, publishing some parts online. Now, a decade later, I am able to revise the opening essays and complete the final three pieces that were still in development when the tragedy occurred. I had originally hoped to publish the entire series soon after the album’s release, but at the time I could no longer continue—for reasons that will become clear as the essays unfold.

Now, with time and perspective, I’m ready to return to this writing project and share these essays in the weeks and months ahead. Thank you for reading.

Coming soon: Chapter 1 • Introduction—Birth of a Vision

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After Two Decades, “Eric Left Riverton” Finally Arrives

Launched in 1999 and completed in 2005, the ambitious studio project Eric Left Riverton spent nearly two decades on the shelf while its creator, Pragnus Gray, pursued writing, teaching, and graduate school before bringing the record to listeners. The record features a wide cast of collaborators and an accompanying visual film project and, like Eleventh Hour Shine, aims to pay homage to the familiar pop greats.